Her father says "Pardon my French," for saying "Stuff"

Girls freak out at American Idol Results

The Clash-Police on my Back

43.6%

See how many of the top 250 films on IMDB you have seen

Kind of embarrassing but you can see what movies I have and haven't seen. Honestly, the list is complete bullshit as many great movies aren't on it, and plenty of crappy ones are.



And yes I am referring to Scarface. That movie blows.

Delgo on Front Page of Reddit Today

Remember when earlier I posted a blog post featuring the movie trailer for "Delgo?" The trailer was so horrendous I could not believe it was real, and that it had to be the worst movie of the year.

Looks like I am a genius

Read about it here

LOWEST OPENING BOX OFFICE OF A WIDE RELEASE EVER!!

Last True Indie Band on Earth /bold statement

Harry and the Potters don't sing about boyfriends or any of the other bullshit. They sing about the important stuff

The Star With the Cops is Priceless

MARIO KART (REMI GAILLARD)
by nqtv

Truth is, I thought it mattered. I thought that music mattered. But does it bollocks! Not compared to how people matter.

Yes, this movie is indeed real (NSFW)

REALly awesome!!!! Comes out next March

Bring me to this Cathedral

Every Time I go to Middlebury's Website

I think to myself, WHAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY!?

Rick Rollin has nothing on this video.

Funny man

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin

Oregon Girl sounds exactly like early Weezer.





Make sure not to listen to Kanye West's new remix album

A Little Princess (1995)

I was recently reminded of this fantastic film which has largely been forgotten. While most people probably remember watching it as a kid, it really is timeless and should be seen again. It also has the distinction of being the first real feature film directed by Alfonso Cuarón (Y tu mamá también, Harry Potter 3).

Dust off the old VHS and give it another viewing. Or better yet, Youtube actually has the entire film posted (split into 11 parts). You won't regret it. To get started here is Part 1

Below is a music video featuring some of the magnificent imagery found in the film. Be warned the video basically gives away the entire movie...




comments meant to highlight the homosexual nature of this post will not be tolerated

I hope he makes it in Hollywood

The Best Review of the Worst Book Ever

Direct Link

How to Dress Like Richie Tenenbaum Part 3

In Part 1 it was the shades
Part 2 was all about the headband.

Part 3 is the Fila shirt.



This slick T is essential to being Richie T. Again, it can be found on eBay

New Watchmen Trailer (Best Yet)

This was released 20 minutes ago. Looks fantastic.




The end is nigh

My Pants Are So Sexy

Fun Fact: Whenever someone says, "my pants are," I hear "Mike Panzer"

My pants make my butt feel so tight

The Spider in my Car Mirror is Dead

The spider living in my car side-view mirror is dead.
Or so I think.

The little guy had been living in my car mirror for quite some time. Almost every day I would walk down to my car to find that an intricate spider-web had been created from the driver's side-view mirror to the door handle. And almost every day I would tear it down.

I only saw the critter once. I was driving real fast on the highway and I looked out the window to check my blind spot. When I peeked out the glass I saw a spider about the size of a dime hanging on for dear life as he flung through the wind. I made sure to slow down and thankfully he quickly climbed behind the mirror. At that moment I realized I liked him; I liked seeing a new web every day.

Then one morning there was no web, and there has not been one since. Maybe it was the winter or one of my recent road-trips that finally did him in, but I am actually sad he's gone.

RIP little dude.

PP breaks 1000 1500 2000 hits!

Thanks everyone for reading my blog! I decided to post "Saddest Image of the Day" on Reddit, and suddenly I was getting a ton of hits.

Using some Google software (which I will blog about tomorrow), I can see that people from all over the world including Australia, Germany (EWW!), Ireland, Argentina, Switzerland, and more have checked Panzer's Pipes.

Thanks again!

Does anyone give a fuck about that oxford comma?

Shit I Don't Get #2

Shit I Don't Get #2: People who hesitate before lending me a pencil in class.



Now I am definitely putting the eraser in my mouth

Awesomest Image of the Day

Saddest Image of the Day

David Bowie- Bombers

This is my most played track on Itunes. It was supposed to be on Hunky Dory but got replaced at the last second.


A-bombs, H-bombs, even very small ones!

Shit I Don't Get #1

Shit I Don't Get #1: Cartoon characters who are re-drawn smoking marijuana


The people who find these funny are the same people who are pissed there wasn't another Fingerboard Video of the Week (sorry XNICK)

Fish Eyes

I try to keep politics out of my blog but this new ad is just too good. Perfect example of how inspiring music overlapped with words always= chills.

Yesterday it snowed an inch

You know that guy with a ponytail and mustache who always seems to be wearing a black t-shirt with a wolf on it?

I want to be him when I grow up.

Low Landing 747

For those of you screaming fake, it is actually a famous spot known as Maho Bay Beach in St.Martin's. There are a bunch of videos just like it.

THIS BLOG IS SO AWESOME

Harry and the Potters are so awesome.
My friend Ian is so awesome
Ian showed me this song which is so awesome.

It is also so awesome that this song is only 30 seconds long because you can hear the entire thing on the itunes preview

15 minutes ain't 3 minutes

Today I got my 4th parking ticket of the semester which is a big deal since if you get 5 they kick your car off campus. The kicker: the guy gave me the ticket to my face!

I drove to get a quick breakfast and had to park illegally since all the spots my gray "S" sticker allow me to sit in where full. I was still responsible and made sure to eat quickly, and in no-time was on my way out. As I approached my vehicle I realized that a Public Safety officer had parked in front of my car and was getting out to write me up.

I immediately ran over and exclaimed (this is verbatim): "Hey I'm sorry, I parked here for like 3 minutes to get some food." This particular officer was not at all amused and replied (verbatim):" I've been driv... (incoherent due to excessive spitting)...car's been here (incoherent due to excessive spitting)...been longer than 3 minutes"

I continued to plead "Alright, i've been here for like 15 minutes but..." At this point it was all over: I had made the fatal error of being honest. "Well" the officer smiled, "15 minute ain't 3 minutes." With that he walked away, got in his toy police car, and was off- probably to call his buddies and re-tell his John Wayne moment.

I went home, realized I was fucked, and posted it on my stupid blog.

Then I thought up all these cool responses I could have made to "15 minutes ain't 3 minutes." Most of them were inappropriate...would have been so awesome

Fingerboard Video of the Week (FVOTW)

I have decided to add a new feature to my blog known as Fingerboard Video of the Week or FVOTW for those in the know.

This week's video was made by youtube user "XNick," who broadcasts all the way from Moscow, Russia. XNick is 19 years old, making him the oldest active techdecker in the entire world ever. He is also a badass because his occupation is listed as "having fun." Congrats XNick for being the star of the first FVOTW!

Worst Movie of 2008 Nominee: Delgo

I stumbled upon this gem on apple.com/trailers and all I can say is:

What. The. Fuck.

I am excited to see that Freddie Prince Jr. and Jennifer Love Hewitt are finally reuniting since I still know what you did last summer . Hopefully they can recreate some of the magic that enchanted audiences back in 1998

Missed Connections

This weekend was my little sister Sarah's Bat-Mitzvah. It was a beautiful event, and she was great. Unfortunately, my performance was quite sup-par: I missed both my flight into D.C., and my flight from D.C.

Yes, that is two missed flights in two days. No, I am not proud.

The funniest part was after I booked my fourth flight (and last) of the weekend, the printer machine was not working so United provided me with this as my boarding pass: (click image to enlarge)



Somehow the woman at the gate accepted this and let me on the plane.

New Watchmen Movie Trailer

If you have not read the graphic novel "Watchmen" I highly recommend it. Besides being completely badass, it is actually listed in Time's 100 Greatest Novels of All Time. Be smart and read it before the movie comes out.


Oh, and the new footage is here. Skip the bullshit by going to 1:20:


Nothing really new but still pretty cool.

King Tut is all bullshit

In 1st grade King Tut becomes the center of the academic universe. But let me tell you kids, it is all bullshit because in the end King Tut never comes back. Not next year, not in high school, never.

Such a badass toy

Michael Ian Black

is funny

"He's doing it all wrong!"

The KazooKeyLele

The instrument is as awesome as the guy's haircut

If you bought 1000 dollars in stock a year ago...

If you bought $1000 of stock a year ago, you would now have:

$91.28 if you bought Washington Mutual
$37.50 if you bought Neomagic
$21.29 if you bought Freddie Mac
$20.79 if you bought Fannie Mae

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the recycling REFUND... You would have $... 214.00 in cash.
So the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
It's called the 401-Keg Plan

-Reddit.com

James Earl Jones Recites the Alphabet

Seriously...that's it.

Nick Rewind on Itunes

My sis (girl eating plywood in my blog header), just sent me some info about this thing on Itunes called "Nick Rewind" There are 2 volumes, and basically for 10 bucks you get 7 episodes from old Nickelodeon shows like Rocket Power, Doug, Hey Arnold, Rocko's Modern Life, Catdog, AHH real monsters, and some other stuff.

Pretty cool.

How to Dress Like Richie Tenenbaum Pt.2

The next step is the headband. Sadly, the headband used in the film is an authentic Bjorn Borg from the 70's and is no longer in production. Still, eBay can again help.

The problem with most headbands is that they are thick, and if you wear them on your head they "poof" your hair up. A solution is to look on eBay for retro headbands. The picture above is a headband I found on eBay, and got for around 3 dollars. Sadly, eBay doesn't have any FILA headbands so you will just have to type into the search "vintage athletic headband," and hope something nice comes up.

How to Dress Like Richie Tenenbaum PT.1

So you want to look like Richie Tenenbaum from the Royal Tenenbaums?

Step 1: shades. In my last post I mentioned that Wes Anderson uses Vuarnet sunglasses. You can find a bunch of pairs that look like these on eBay. Below I have listed a few that are up for bidding as we speak.


Richie Shades 1

Richie Shades 2


If you have seen The Royal Tenenbaums you know it is all about the shades. These go anywhere from 30-45 bucks so don't be fooled by the high "buy it now prices."

New Shadezzz

Just so everyone knows, Wes Anderson uses Vuarnet sunglasses in his movies. This includes Richie Tenenbaum's sick shades as well as Adrian Brody's in The Darjeeling Limited.

Just got myself my first pair on eBay.

Awesome Headphones

Just found these headphones. So tight.

You can get them here